So, What Do We Call It?
by Littlest Cinnaminion
Summary: When one goes searching for something, one generally finds it where one least expects it. The same rule applied for Wally when he went pet-hunting. Because honestly, who finds an *army* of dangerous, adorable pets on a mission besides Superboy?


Wally had always wanted a pet. Since he was old enough to stand on his own and a rather fluffy dog had knocked him flat on his butt, he'd begged his parents for some animal to keep him company. His mom said 'no' and he never brought it up around his dad, so he turned to his other parents: Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry.

They similarly shot him down. Wally eventually gave up the dream, but it certainly wasn't for lack of trying. No, the united front of Aunt Iris' stern gaze and Uncle Barry's unwavering ability to avoid the question by running away with usually a comment along the lines of "Oh, look at that distraction," finally laid Wally's dreams of almost-parenthood to rest six years after its birth.

Fast forward to Wally's Kid Flash years.

The day was supposed to have been a simple "Stop that Crazy Rogue" mission. Weather Wizard had gotten the idea that he should rip off Frankenstein and try to harness the power of lightning to run his "Elec-Trick-Or-Treat," which had obviously been named by the Trickster. Still, the fact that Weather Wizard had gone along with the name meant that obviously, Weather Wizard had a few more screws loose than the Speedsters had originally thought.

The battle was nothing to write home about (unless you lived in Central or Keystone and you worshipped the Flash clan like your own personal gods) since Barry and Wally were hungry and definitely not in the mood to delay their sacred meal time. Within minutes, the battle was over, and Flash had sped off alongside the police cars to make small talk. Wally left it at "TELL TRICKSTER AND PIPER I SAID HI!"

Turning to the now re-abandoned warehouse, Wally decided to take a stroll through the rooms and see what he could claim as his- "Sweet! Souvenir!" Some of the plans that Weather Wizard had been using were still in one of the rooms. Wally folded them as neatly as he could and attempted to stick the wad in one of his many food-filled pockets. While fighting to fit the papers in with the mini-pack of Oreos, Wally was interrupted by a faint scratching that he heard come from down one of the hallways. Once again weary and munching on Oreos, Wally made his way down the hallway to a door that was labeled-

"Pfft. Really, James? 'WEATHER WIZARD'S BACK UP PLAN. DON'T PEEK. THAT MEANS YOU, BABY FLASH!'" Wally chuckled at his friend's eccentricities and tried the doorknob.

Unsurprisingly, it was locked and gave Wally a bit of a shock when he grabbed it. "Oh, very funny, James. A joy buzzer..." Backing up a bit, Wally ran at the door and knocked it down in his ever-effective human cannonball move. Only to scream at decibels only dogs could hear, quickly switch to a lower, manlier register and fall backwards after flailing uncontrollably.

The tiny yellow things that had been staring at him when he first walked in all crowded around his fallen body. Wally was about to run screaming into the mountains, but then one of the fatter ones jumped onto his chest and stared him in the face. Wally couldn't breathe.

"Pika?"

* * *

As Wally's vision mysteriously blacked out for a second or five, Flash came skidding down the hallway, "KID! Are you- What the heck are those things?"

Wally managed to get into a half-way upright position, and ended up with the same fat yellow thing that had previously been crushing his chest in his lap. It looked up at him then down at his chest, and then nuzzled against the lightning bolt situated there. "Uhh..."

"Kid, a little more focus would be appreciated."

"Oh, right. Umm... I have no idea what these things are," Kid Flash managed with wide eyes and a half-crazed smile, the overall effect making him look more Joker than Flash. Barry felt a bit affronted as a mentor. The rest of the yellow things looked over to where the strange yellow and red thing was staring, and then saw the other larger, red strange thing. A few of the Raichu and Pichu conversed among themselves before one of the largest Raichu hopped over to the larger red thing. Perhaps the thing was some new type of evolved Pokémon.

The Flash and the Raichu stared at each other for a short time before the Raichu saw the lightning symbol on the large red thing's chest. Its lightning bolt tail twitched once before it smiled and sat back on its haunches with a "Raichu!"

The Flash tried very hard not to give in to his exponentially increasing desire to cuddle the thing, but as soon as he saw it tilt its head and a small bit of electricity came out of its cheeks- he'd worry about that later- he let out a manly squeal and threw himself to the ground to rub the things belly. "Oh my God it's so damn adorable."

Kid Flash, on the other hand, was taking this with considerably more stride than his uncle was. He had managed to get on his knees, but the rest of the army of small, cute yellow things had crowded around him all begging to be pet. One of the largest ones, like the one who was now flopped over his uncle's lap asking for a belly rub, had pushed its head under his arm asking to be scratched behind his ears. The tinier one who had been on his lap before was now looking up at one of the smallest ones who had somehow climbed onto his shoulder and was rubbing against his cheek. Wally couldn't help but smile.

"Uncle Barry?"

"Who's a good, adorable little Raichu? Who is?"

"Can we keep them?"

Barry stopped all his movements and hugged the Raichu around the neck, looking as serious as Wally had ever seen him. "OhmyGod_yes_." Wally's answering smile lit up his entire face as he zipped over to hug his Uncle. The rest of the army hopped quickly behind him.

"Wait, what do we tell Aunt Iris?"

"Uhh..."

"Pika Pika!"

* * *

_Did I mention that this was a crack!fic?_


End file.
